Marcus fell in love with Miriam when he was 14. Best friends, they spent each day after school together playing. That is, each day Miriam was not with Paul, her popular older boyfriend. Miriam & Marcus could be found At the beach At her house At his. It did not matter where, life was a game for the two. The game of life had decided they were to live 2 blocks from each other.

Paul made Miriam cry often. Marcus could nearly sense when this would occur and be 1 block on the way when Miriam would call to escape. Marcus could say no wrong of Paul, Marcus looked up to him as an older brother, who knowing Marcus felt this way trusted him to calm and console Miriam. Together again, Miriam would rejoin Paul, who whisked her away on exciting adventures in his car, his fast car. This dynamic played on through much of Marcus' freshman year of high school. Marcus did not tell Miriam he loved her. Marcus saw how Miriam looked at Paul, it was not in a best friend manner.

During these times Marcus did some adventuring of his own. His consoling services were called upon, in a different facet, by his older sister's best friend Malia. Malia's boyfriend, the leader of the local gang, The Pack of Wolves, was spending time in prison for assaulting a group of children who had showered his car with pinecones. Marcus' sister was quite upset when she found out about his adventure. Especially since she had brought her kid brother to the party the consoling occurred at. 

Miriam & Marcus continued the whirlwind ride of emotions and experiences that is high school. Their relationship ever evolving. Marcus felt ecstatic to be regarded as Miriam's confidant and partner in crime, no matter her passion for more mature boys. Paul eventually wounded Miriam deeply. Marcus did not see Miriam for some time after this. When the pair reunited Marcus felt a shift within her. Something his consolation could do nothing about. The gap widened as Marcus fell into the bosom of a younger girl.

A Junior now Marcus had matured into a young man. Engrossed in his first love, Alex, he spent 8 months not talking to another soul. Then Alex chewed up his heart and spit it out whole. Marcus could not let her go. He went back to her again and again in the hope the relationship would mend or maybe for the sex. He was after all 17 and raging with hormones. By this time Miriam had become involved with Marcus' friend Tal. Marcus felt cut out. He felt alone. No Alex No Tal and worst of all No Miriam. High school became torture. Marcus spent his final year devoted to athletics, academics and drowning his loneliness in the attentions of lonely girls. Thirsty for love Marcus spilled his cup out over and over. 

By and bye Marcus' mind was on college. Him and Mariam had not spoken in some time. They saw each other at parties during the summer but it seemed to upset Tal when they would talk. Their conversations were kept short. Summer over they attended school 2 hours apart on the California coast. Their 1st year of college flew by in a flash and that summer the duo reunited at home. Walking the 2 blocks to see Miriam in her backyard Marcus' heart fluttered against his breastplate. They embraced and the fabric that had held Marcus bound in emptiness melted away. That summer not a day was spent apart. Smoke lifted out of the sunroof to the stars knitting together dreams. Miriam explained how her and Tal had made a go of long distance with no luck. Miriam tried her hardest. She put her entire heart into those she loved. Something Marcus admired from the instant he met her. Resultantly she had been hurt deeply again. Marcus felt a shift in the bond between him and Miriam. A shift into the realm of lovers. No physical engagement had occurred, yet for the first time it felt possible and Marcus was terrified. 

It would not be until the following year, when Miriam invited him to spend the weekend partying at her school, that their connection was sealed. The first night he arrived Miriam became so intoxicated that she lost her phone and Marcus had to carry her home. They had been making out intensely in the bathroom at a party but now she was gone. She tried to pull Marcus  into her bed.  Marcus dumped her on her bed and hit the couch. The next day while the pair lay in her bed laughing off the hangover and lost phone they made love for the first time. Marcus, insecure about his existence, was on Xanax. A habit he had picked up at college. His performance was less than stellar as any girl who has dated a bartard will tell you. Don't do Xanax kids. Luckily, Miriam liked Marcus long before the drug use began. She did not burst his bubble until they had other, sober Marcus, experiences to compare to. At that point she let him know what Xanax does to erections. The two of them resumed life at separate schools with the knowledge they had initiated something special. There was no rush to date. Long distance was not for them.

Miriam would soon leave for abroad. Her studies were calling her to the desert. During a short trip home from abroad, on a foggy summer evening, Miriam surprised Marcus at a party. They had not spoken in a year. Miriam, dating a boy abroad, had plans to return. Since they were on a break she allowed Marcus to kiss her. They slept in each others arms and despite Marcus' desire there was no love made. Miriam returned to her boyfriend abroad. There she would marry. Something Marcus would not find out about until he saw her a year after graduating college. Her return home came as a great surprise for Marcus. 

The pair reunited, as they had 5 years prior, in Miriam's backyard. Entering her hot tub they basked in each others heat. They held each other, arm in arm, chest to chest. Miriam had fled the desert in a hurry. Away from another boy who had hurt her. Marcus was there for her, not with words, in presence. They became enthralled with each others company. The duo were playing together again. A 10 day road trip to Oregon. There Marcus had his heart smashed by a girl from college who did not love him back. Roles reversed, Miriam was present for him with some Pure Brutal Reality. The duo braved frigid nights together in a triangle, keeping warm with body heat and the occasional fire. They spent many mornings, nestled in a love nook at the top of a grassy hill, looking out over a hidden redwood valley. Eventually, they took the step to living together full time in a flat where the sun rose through a large window. 

This fairytale went on for a year. Here is where things get hairy. Nothing wrong with some hair it keeps the beasts warm. The love Miriam had for Marcus was an essence so pure that it began to clear the fog of delusion clouding Marcus. Marcus began to kick his addictions. It was no longer the cocktail of benzos and uppers that he did in college but he was doing plenty of suppression with steady spliffs of marijuana and tobacco. Medicine in action is powerful, dependence turns it into a concealer. He began to notice the pain he had acquired, in his life, his foundation of love. Marcus had become a monster to Alex while trying to hold on desperately to something already gone. Marcus was determined not to become that monster to Miriam. He desired to love how she did; open, trusting, full. They decided Marcus should move out and he did so in the most respectful manner. No matter that he screamed and cried on his car ride away, each mile tearing his heart out of his back piece by piece. He did it so she may have her space, her peace. He did it so he may heal himself.

Without the substances to suppress and away from the shield that was Miriam's love, Marcus began to crumble. He saw why he was dependent on her. He did not have Love for himself. This is where his need of control stemmed from. The years of guilt for a dead friend he felt responsible for. The shame of being an addict and the pain it caused himself and his loved ones. Probably some more things he hasn't come to terms with yet. It all came crashing down. All of the love he had built through Miriam's support disappeared in 5 days.

Marcus schemed, delusional from all the unobscured pain. How could he possibly let her go when his heart depended on her. This was not a substance that would lie still. She, a walking talking loving energetic being that still wanted to see him, felt impossible to leave alone. But what would happen if he went running back without finding Love inside himself? Marcus knew what he had to do. He had to free himself from the loop so many men are caught in. Pouring their pain into the givers of life the Gods on our planet.

The next day Miriam sent him 1 text. Do you need/want to see me? His reality rapidly coming apart Marcus found he did not possess the strength to stay away. He believed he needed Miriam to make the pain go away. So he went to her. And Marcus, afraid of letting go, an addict to suffering, in repayment to Miriam for showing him the Truth, selfishly cast his pain onto Miriam using 4 words. I don't love you. The moment Marcus did this he saw himself, in Miriam's eyes, become another boy who had hurt her. Marcus broke. 

His parents took him to the psych hospital. He pissed his bed and itched to die. He got a therapist.

Today Marcus is on his own. He wakes up, meditates, does yoga and writes. He thinks of apology after apology for Miriam. Marcus prays that when the time is right the bond of Miriam and Marcus will be unified. It has been told when the duo meet in divinity magic exists, plain to the naked eye. The Earth dances with Love. That is what this is about, Love.